Sonnet 312.82 – Conduct Disorder


Sonnet 312.82


This is the gift I will bring him today.

It’s unwrapped, in pieces and ready for

The inspection that’s required at the gate

Before I’m allowed to pass through the door

To set eyes on my own and ask how

He’s grown so much in the time he’s been gone.

Silently mourning the life he lives now

Secretly raging that this is my son.

I have gifts for this boy left ungiven

Held back for the good of his own and mine

Someday to be shared without condition

When I won’t be a fool for being kind.

I once thought the gift of love was enough

No more since this kid of mine’s made me tough.


Conduct Disorder,  Adolescent-onset type

With Lack of Remorse or Guilt

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  • Read and reread, stirring and thought-provoking… high emotion for me. The best kind of poetry, where we’re inspired to journey beyond the immediate context. While reading it, I was listening to the soundtrack for The Shipping News, and the music framed the moment perfectly, a kind of nostalgia, looking backwards at all of the gifts left ungiven, no matter the situation, when we’re prevented from a natural expression of kindness/love/care, having to choose instead a “self-protection” and toughness, near cruelty it seems, when reflecting upon and considering our actions in the most trying of circumstances.

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